She has been head down for way over a month now which brings me relief but her feet stick into my ribs and I think she assumes the position for a "chimney climb" spreading her hands on either side of my belly and pushing out. I can't bend. I can't put on my socks or tie my shoes by myself. Eating has become small, frequent meals, and sleeping has become nonexistent. I nearly sat down in dispair and cried the other day wishing Cowboy was home to help dress me. I had errands to run and I thought I was going to be stuck being half-dressed and homebound. Through sheer determination and painful contortions I finally got myself dressed somewhat properly and got out the door. Then came the discovery that it was a circus act just to get behind the steering wheel and maneuver my key into the ignition.
Thankfully I have been told frequently I am "all belly" even though I feel round all over.
These last two weeks have been carb-craving hell. I want pasta, I want donuts, I want anything sweet and horrible for you. I'm talking crap that has absolutely no redeeming nutritional value. That said, I have been craving all this junk but I have not given into any of it except maybe one or two terribly weak moments. I had been obsessing about donuts for over a week and nearly at my wits end. I had even stopped at two donut shops on my way home from work to indulge but neither shop carried my favorite donut. I took it as a sign and continued home empty bellied and emotionally unfulfilled. That night Cowboy surprised me with a small white paper bag and a smile on his face. My amazing husband had went out (also to two other donut shops) and found me my donut! It was seriously the best donut ever and I was in heaven the whole rest of the night. Best. Husband. Ever!!!! Because I have been so good with my eating I really had no guilt attached to that donut which made it taste even better.
After my donut I was back into full attack mode with my fruits (god I love fruit!!!) and veggies and trying to scarf down lean proteins for baby building.
Back to exercising: or lack of. I had been going to the gym 2-3x/wk lifting weights and still running on the treadmill with my belly band. About 2 wks ago, however, things have just progressed so quickly with the pregnancy that everything hurts and exhausts me within just a few minutes of doing them. Running has started to hurt the balls of my feet- I'm assuming it's the extra weight on my bones and arches. I did five miles on the treadmill and I felt like my feet were going to fall off. I then dialed it down to 3-4 miles at a time and each time I was able to do less and less before my body screamed in protest. Now I walk the pup several times around the park and not only do my feet start hurting but the baby feels like she drops down and bangs into my pelvis to the point that I have to waddle and wonder if I am going to pee myself before I get home. Oh how I long to run so bad!!!
I am so extremely excited to meet my little one, however. I know there will be plenty of ups and downs but I look forward to every single one of them. Cowboy and I have attended our birthing class and I have read so many books that I feel ready!!! Surprisingly, I am not afraid of labor. I am a little startled to realize I am looking forward to it and see it as a challenge not unlike a big running race. I enjoy pushing my body to it's limit and seeing how far it will go. I know there will be pain, there will be exhaustion, and it's not going to be all puppy dog kisses and rainbows. Accepting those facts allows me to prepare my body and my mind, push it all aside, and see the light at the end. The reward that we have been trying so hard for years to obtain. The smell of her, the feel of her skin, her fingers wrapping around mine, the big eyes looking back at me, and the sight of my husband holding our little baby girl....it's going to be amazing. Yep, I'm gonna cry big crocodile tears.